Mellow

Have you ever wondered what you would be like when your old and are at the end of your life? I didn't really think about it all that much until I started helping my mother with taking care of my grandmother. It's not something that someone my age would normally think about.

It's been a while since I have seen my grandmother but my mother always keeps me up to date on how she is doing. Well lately my mother has slowly been telling me that everything is getting worse with my grandmother. She has Altimeters and it gets worse every day. The one thing that made it real to me is when my mother told me what she was told by a nurse. The nurse works at my grandmother's nursing home. She told my mother that they found my grandmother picking her own poop out of her butt. It was something that I wasn't ever expecting. I just want life to be easy all the time. Or at least get easier as we get older.

This new scared the crap out of me like no other. I didn't really know what to think about getting older. It's doesn't seem like I'll be the lucky type and miss out on this gene. As it happens my grandfather on my dads side also had this sickness. So it's like a double whammy. I just don't want to be seen like that. I want to be able to know who my grandchildren or children are when I die. I don't want them to have bad memories of me being sick. I just wish that life didn't have to be so hard on us.


What one thing about getting old do you wish never existed? If you could change anything about your family what would it be? And, why?

Awakening

With everything that has been going on in my life I just realized how much better it is to be working out again. I really have missed being able to be active. I use to do a lot of out door activities and played sports. I would really Love to get in to something like roller berby. I want to feel strong and powerful. I am working out and losing the weight for me. I want to be healthy. I want to be something that my father could be proud of.

I am looking in to schools also so that I can get my teaching certification so that I can teach art. I have come to realize that I am good at helping people learn and know new things. At work it seems like everyone ask me how to do things. I don't know if its because I know the information or that I am really good at what I do. I thought if I started teaching it would at least get me started in the right direction to owning my own business where I would be teaching art. I just want to share the wonder of art with other people. Maybe help other people see the importance of art.

Art is in every culture and shows how people have developed over the years starting with cave men painting what they where hunting not only to teach but to decorate their home. It showed the others what is going on in their culture before their really was a form of written language. People also say that art cant get you nowhere in life. I think that it has done a lot for me to be able to just let my self create I haven't really been working on anything big because I am still a little scared to. I think that is the hardest part about being an artist is letting your self go so that you can create and not let others judge your work of art.By putting my self out there more maybe I can one day be able to show my work to other people and have it known to the outer world other then my family and friends.

Do you ever wonder if you can put your self out there and learn that not everyone will like your work? If you have I would love to hear about them.