Jolt

So, there has been a lot on my mind lately. Everything in my life seems to be sorda coming together but there is a lot that I feel is missing. I am not saying that I'm not happy just that there is still things I would like to do. Everything that has been happening has been in the last couple of weeks.

The first thing that I had the first guy hit on me and asked me for my number. It was a big shock to me. So I gave him my number and that night he started txting me. He seemed like an interesting guy. I wasn't to sure about him. I just had this gut feeling that I know what was going to happen with this guy but I really wanted to see where things would go. So he came over one night to watch a movie with me. It was suprizing that he didn't try anything with me. It made me feel confertable with him a little. We sorda fell asleep which was kind of bad because I had to kick him out so that I could get ready for work the next day. That night I didn't sleep that well. But one night when I was at the gym (where I meet the guy) he was talking to me about a business opertonuty. Which just thorw me off. I just didn't know where to go from there. We were talking and then he finially came out and said what he was looking for. He wanted to have a friends with benefits relationship. I am at a point in my life when that type of relationship isn't what I am looking for. I haven't really heard from him sence I told him how I felt about that type of relationship.

The next thing is I am really thinking about becoming a teacher. It's something that I never really though about because I didn't feel like I would be a good teacher. But I have come to realize that I wont know how good of teacher I will be until I try. I just want to be able to share my love of art with another generation. I want them to know how important art is to our culture. I think that there is a lot that needs to be done in this world to show how much art we use everyday.

The last thing that has been on my mind is well my health. I have been working out and eating differently. I also have a surgery that is coming up. I think that their is a reason for everything to be changing in my life. They are going to be talking out my gallbladder. I don't know how this is going to change my mutablizum. I just know that I am losing weight and enjoying the out come of it all. I think I just need something to get me jump started. I would really love to be in the hundrads again. I know that would be a better weight scale to be at. They tell me now that I am obse even thou I have never been there. I guess the only thing I can do is to keep working at it. I will definatly keep you posted on everything that is going on.

Severe

So a while back about a month or so. I woke up to a really sharp pain right under my rib cage. I wasn't so sure what it was and why I was having these pains. I called my mother knowing that she would know what to do about the pain. Thinking maybe she might know what this pain is and why it’s happening. My mother told me to wake my brother up to take me to the ER because she thought that something with my Gallbladder. It's hard for me to ask for help like that.

By the time we go to the ER I didn't even really feel the pain any more. It wasn't too long after being there that the pain came back. They gave me some drug to help with the pain. At one point they seemed not to make the pain any less then what I was feeling before. When the pain left the last time it finally felt like it was over.

My mother was right it was my Gallbladder that was the problem. It was trying to pass a stone. The doctor said I need to get it removed and also put me on strict low fat diet. I have lost some weight form this diet. Also, it was a good way to just start my weight loss. I have also joined the gym to help with the weight loss.

Now the only think that I seem to be waiting for is the surgery that will take out my Gallbladder. This morning I had a call that woke me up to tell me that they need to change my appointment. I had to wait for me to have health insurance before I did the surgery. So when they called I didn't want to change my appointment I have been waiting a month to get in to this doctor to see about getting this fix and now he wanted to change the appointment. It's hard to have something like that happen. I am just proud that I finally stood up for myself there are just something that I need to stand up to.

It’s so hard for me to be on this diet. I want French fries so bad. I just want to be able to have a day where I can actually eat something. There really isn't much you can it on a low fat diet. Yes, our bodies need fat also. But when your body stops being able to help itself break down those fats it’s not good. With removal of the Gallbladder you can still brake down those fats but in a different way.

I am just scared that I'm not losing the weight the right way and its going to come back. I am tired of being overweight tired of not being seen by people because of my weight. I just want to feel healthy again. I want to be able to run a mile without dieting. I want to wear a sexy dress. There are a lot of people out there that want to feel the same about their weight. I know this because they have shows about teenagers who want to change their life by losing weight before college and keep it off. I want to keep it off for good. I know changing a life style is hard but it’s what I am willing to take.