A deep pit

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a really deep pit that you don’t know how to get yourself out of? Or even between a rock and a hard place? Or even so disappointed in yourself that you don’t know if you could change? I feel so disappointed in myself I really don’t know if I could ever get out of this place. I don’t want to end up so broken that I can’t fix myself. I don’t know if it’s time for me to find someone that could help me deal with all of this pain and heart ache.

JUST what I thought

So the strangest thing has happened to me. I found out that I have a strong allergic reaction to wool. It’s kind of weird for me. It took me several days to realize. But it all started with a sore throat and is now ending with it settling in my chest. I don’t even know if would be able to finish the project that I started because of how much pain it’s casing me. It looks very good and is coming out beautifully but I don’t know if my health is worth it. I thought that maybe if I rushed to get it done and gave it away that it would be a good thing. I also think that I didn’t want that project to be the problem. But know that I know it is, it’s hard to give it up. What would you do?

Unfinished

I tend to have a lot of unfinished projects before I am even close to being done with one. I don't know if it has anything to do with my attention span. I know that sometimes I can be a little unfocused. I think that has a lot to do with my creative side. I am always excited to start something but when it comes to finishing is a little more difficult to do. I also find excitement when something being done. It is the middle part that I have problems with sometimes.


Scarf with NEW yarn.
I know that at some point that I will have to finish something or start something new with that material. Right now I am working on a blanket for my brother, scarf with this new yarn that I am trying, another scarf that is all cable, and then a shrug for a wedding I am going to.

If only I could find away to stay interested in a project. I have gone thru and done some projects all the way thru. I think the small things that I get excited about. Yes, I know that a lot of people go thru this. I know that a lot of famous painters took years to finish paintings but I am not sure if it was the process or if it was that so much was going on.


My brothers Blanket

Do you have any project that you keep working on and putting them down?

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Why can’t people just say what they mean? Is it really that hard to be honest with another person or even yourself? I believe if we say what we mean then there is no guessing what the other person is feeling, thinking, or even wondering. Are others people options about us really impact how we speak or even if we tell the truth? Do we really not want to hear the truth about ourselves? I know that I have been finding the truth very refreshing. The truth has had me answer questions about myself. These questions that I ask myself have been hard to answer. Even changing how I feel about thing and my relationships with people. What all this comes down to is that I want to hear what people feel for real not this fake feelings that they share with people to make them thing that everything is ok. I think it’s time to start telling the truth.

This has come in to view because of a guy that is trying to come back in my life after standing me up. I don’t know if this changes my feelings about him or how he feels. Or even if I could feel that I could trust him again. Thru all of the communication with this guy has made me wonder why people can’t say what they mean and mean what they say. I have also been talking to someone that has been very open and honest with me from the beginning about what he wants. His honesty keeps me on my toes and makes me feel more comfortable to say things to him.