So, life has been quite as it should be. I think I have failed the whole take a picture a day thing. I still take photos often just not enough. I really am in this gutter trying to find my way out. The things that I have done in the last 11 months..
Graduated college in July
Bought a lemon for a car
Jobless once again
Moved to New Mexico
living with brother
Right now in life I am just trying to figure out how to get a job. Right now the Job market sucks because everyone is like trying to get a job at the same time as me. There was a lot of hope in the beginning but now I am really losing hope. But I know that I have to take it one day at a time before things can get any better. I have been watching a lot of TV and Im not enjoying it like I use to.
I really want to change how I think about my self and what is going on in my life. Its like I dont know what to do with my life any more. I didn't really plan for anything after I was done with college I dont dont know if anyone else has had this prblem. Some times I wish I knew someone that had gone throught this whole jobless after college thing.
Some time I question if college was even worth it. Its a whole lot of deit and it seems that I am not going to get any better pay then I did before I graduated college. I find my self living under a rock for a while would be a better way of say what college did for me. I dont think it really perpared me for the world after college. I miss the structure and what was going to happen next in my life. I also ask the question if I should just go back to school and get a degree in something else. Its like one of those day that never seems to end for me.
I think and I think about everything that is happening in my life and what isnt happening. Like I would really love to either have a big group of friends or a boyfriend to talk to sometimes. Which brings me to another problem that has been happening in my life.
Why do I always seem to fall for someone that cant be with me or just doesnt have the desire to be with me. Its like tells of tells. I just dont want to end up being alone for the rest of my life and not sharing my life with the people around me. I ask God a lot to show me what I need to be doing in my life... But he has said nothing yet to me. Like I need to do something first before I become what I need to be come. I know what he will show me the way.
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