Wonderful

So the other night I was laying in bed and had a light bulb come on in my head. I think that my passion has been stolen from me. All I need to do is figure out how to get it back even if it takes me a long time to get there I one day would like to be there. When my dreams and passions where stolen from me I also lost a lot of respect for the men in my life.

The guy I was dating at the time verbally abused me and made me think that I was good for nothing. I did a lot of cutting at the time that I have told no one about. I was scared that people would think different of me and I still do. One night I took a steak knife to my wrist I didn't get very far because my crazy ex boy jumped on me until I put the knife down. It was mostly because of him I wanted to show him how he was making me feel. Like that changed anything.

Some days I wish that things could of been different and that I wasn't scared of him. I think I let him over power my life. I feel like I need to take control back of my life. I think that is a little easier said then done. I am going to try and change my life for the better and leave the bad new in the past. I want to grow form the experience and change the future.


The other day I was wondering around Walmart waiting for the Avon lady to show up for our meeting. It was very disappointing because I took the effort to go out of my to meet this lady and then she never showed up. I think an email would of been a great way to tell me that your not coming. It is like a pet peeve for me that people don't show up on time. My step mother was always late and that changed things for me. My dad always told me the early bird gets the worm. I should actually take his advice to heart when looking for a job.

Its been really hard to get motivated to do anything. There has been so much going on in my life its so hard to know where to start. I know that's not a good accuses but it has been the problem of my depression. I hope this will change soon because I have finally got some insurance to go see the doctor about my female problems. But I think taking the Pill will help out everything.



But anyways I found this t-shirt that I really liked and it really applys to my situation right now. It's just to funny.


In your life did you ever feel like you lost something that you could find a way back to? If so what was it and how did you lose it?